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I want to cry. Or kill something.
Apr. 7th, 2003 05:49 pmI .... love my Dad. He's a good guy, and he's considerate and tries to do his best for me and our family, but he just doesn't Understand.
He's really narrow minded and prejudiced.
And I've figured out why I'm still having cyclical mood swings that go rock bottom. It's by association. Usually, I'm not near him all week, staying home to clean and work out and do homework and generally working on a positive attitude and being productive.
Then on Sundays and Mondays I help out in the store and .... well, shit happens.
He doesn't trust me to do a good job, so he interferes at the cashier. But he's also dependent on me so he won't do the job himself. Trust me or not at all! I want to scream to him.
In fact, i was going to talk to him about that today.
But it got off to a rocky start. I was tired, so I took a nap, and overslept, which put him in a bad mood. Apologizing doesn't work with him.
"I hate it when you apologize! What does it accomplish? Nothing!"
Does he want me to grow up to be a crude person or something?
And he keeps cutting me off into tirades whenever I DO try to say anything.
"Do you even have a plan with your life? What the hell are you going to do? Nothing! You have no plan! We're not rich! Don't go spending money like that cat just like that on a whim!"
And finally, I just gave up, after this.
"Depression is bullshit."
... he doesn't even believe that I HAVE been ill, in the mind, and ...
I don't know what to talk to him about any more. I tried and I can't talk to him.
No wonder I'm not at my best dealing with teachers after Monday. And classes.
He makes me so stressed that I have migraines just typing this.
At least I feel better after getting this off my chest.
I'll sign off now to nap.
*hugs the world* I know you people who read this love and care about me, and I'm not about to do anything rash, it's just my dad being a moron getting to me.
.... He just called home to ask me what the spelling for the colour purple is. ;_;
Face it, my dad is an untrusting clutching-dependent moron.
He's really narrow minded and prejudiced.
And I've figured out why I'm still having cyclical mood swings that go rock bottom. It's by association. Usually, I'm not near him all week, staying home to clean and work out and do homework and generally working on a positive attitude and being productive.
Then on Sundays and Mondays I help out in the store and .... well, shit happens.
He doesn't trust me to do a good job, so he interferes at the cashier. But he's also dependent on me so he won't do the job himself. Trust me or not at all! I want to scream to him.
In fact, i was going to talk to him about that today.
But it got off to a rocky start. I was tired, so I took a nap, and overslept, which put him in a bad mood. Apologizing doesn't work with him.
"I hate it when you apologize! What does it accomplish? Nothing!"
Does he want me to grow up to be a crude person or something?
And he keeps cutting me off into tirades whenever I DO try to say anything.
"Do you even have a plan with your life? What the hell are you going to do? Nothing! You have no plan! We're not rich! Don't go spending money like that cat just like that on a whim!"
And finally, I just gave up, after this.
"Depression is bullshit."
... he doesn't even believe that I HAVE been ill, in the mind, and ...
I don't know what to talk to him about any more. I tried and I can't talk to him.
No wonder I'm not at my best dealing with teachers after Monday. And classes.
He makes me so stressed that I have migraines just typing this.
At least I feel better after getting this off my chest.
I'll sign off now to nap.
*hugs the world* I know you people who read this love and care about me, and I'm not about to do anything rash, it's just my dad being a moron getting to me.
.... He just called home to ask me what the spelling for the colour purple is. ;_;
Face it, my dad is an untrusting clutching-dependent moron.
